Saturday, January 1, 2011

Belgium 2011: my prophesies

Having spent eight months in Belgium as an unemployed free-loader, do I know enough about this amazing country to make some dubious predictions for the coming year? Absolutely! After all, Nostradamus got 9/11 right, and he never even visited the United States.

Here are eight prophecies, one for each month I've spent in Belgium so far. May there be many more!

1. As the newly elected prime minister, Bart De Wever proposes a separation of Belgium. After a national referendum, the country is split into two separate states: Flanders and Wallonia. Brussels somehow becomes a French colony.

2. Security at the carnival in Aalst is tightened after terrorist threats are made. Nothing happens.

3. More pedo-priests are unmasked. One of them also confesses to be a devil worshipper.

4. Waffle prices soar to an all-time high. People buy more waffles to show that they don't care.

5. We get another scorching summer with temperatures of up to 40 degrees Celsius. Travel agencies sell Belgium as "the new Tunisia".

6. To alleviate traffic jams, the federal government diverts tax money into an effort to purchase flying cars for the royal family and the cabinet.

7. Belgium wins the 2011 Eurovision Song Contest with a 10-point lead over Norway, the runner-up.

8. Stephen Spielberg's The Adventures of Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn is both lauded and butchered by Belgian critics, but still manages to become the highest-grossing film in Belgian history. I give it 5 stars out of 5.

3 comments:

  1. I like the "Tunesian Summer"

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  2. Great post! <3 <3 <3
    And a lot of it is definitely possible! :)
    btw I like the "Tunesian Summers" too ;)

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  3. As long as Tunisia doesn't become "the new Belgium"... :P Thanks ^^ <3

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