Thursday, October 24, 2013

All of everything

I've had a lot of things in my life. Some were toys. Some were friendships. Some were memories I still pull out of my dusty mind now and then, to remind myself of how great life can be.

Nothing compares to this new arrival, though.

Since Kevin was born two months ago, a million overwhelming and wonderful thoughts have raced through my brain. They form a tapestry of ideas and impressions I could never have imagined before.

This is a new person. I'm a new person. Whoever I was before is now fading into the past, like somebody that I used to know. It's amazing that a tiny human being, who won't even remember his first year when he grows up, can turn me into another person simply by being there. If that's not magic, I don't know what is.

What else is there to say? If you're a father, you know exactly what I'm going through. If not, unfortunately there's nothing I can do for you.


  1. Congratulations to you and Bika !!! I'm sure this boy will grow up with caring parents who will do anything it takes to make him happy. Big congratulations to both of you!

    PS: one sidenote... I never want children myself. I think it's a personal choice. Just pointing to the last paragraph of your post; if you make a choice yourself to remain childless then we don't need a treatment for that or so :)
    Although I have the slight feeling you wrote the line with a bit of sarcasm.

    Anyways, congratulations to both of you, I'm sure you'll make very loving and caring parents! :)

    1. Thank you so much!

      Yes, there was a bit of sarcasm in the mix. While it is true that fatherhood is a unique experience, there's absolutely nothing wrong with choosing not to have children. After all, it's the only solution to the world's population problems! I respect the decision and would never question it.

    2. I already thought there was some sarcasm in there , but as an autistic I can never be sure what is literally intended or what is sarcasm. Yes, it is to each his own, and I think it is better not to have children if you don't really want it. I leave it up to people like you who are really happy and motivated for it, they are also normally the best parents to assure that every child is growing up in a loving family. Because that is something every child deserves: parents who love him and will be there for him, no matter what. Given the love for your son reflecting from your words in the blog entry, I'm sure you will be very good parents and that your son will grow up in a great family.

      Once again congratulations!

      PS: will you opt for dual citizenship Norwegian-Belgian? It used to be problematic until about 10 years ago, when Belgium changed laws (on popular demand of Belgian expats living abroad) and allows dual citizenship now. So you can now accept other passports and still retain Belgian citizenship too. I am no legal expert, but I think (especially as Norway and Belgium both have a high standard of life and great social safety net) it is a bonus without any disadvantage attached to it.

      Will you raise your son in Dutch or also use dual language? I know of some mixed couples where the child from the start speaks Dutch to one parent and another language with the other parent. Without any type of course, they end up being perfectly bilingual at a rather early age :)

    3. Thank you for the kind words!

      Kevin has a dual citizenship by default; we only have to fill out the correct papers to make it official. Having two passports will definitely make it easier for him to maintain relations with both countries and both of his families in the future :)

      As for bilingualism, we will both stick with our own first language when talking to Kevin. To only teach him the local language would be to deprive him of a lot of opportunities in the future, such as being able to communicate with his relatives.